On a scale of 1 to Macgyver.. John Roderick vs. Vin Diesel

[mildlyrestarted]

oh my god, dudes.
this is NOT real.

MacGyver = 100%
Vin Diesel = 98.49%
John Roderick = 92.362%

i couldn't bear to look at the whole thing, but as far as i can tell, the only boyfriend who is less mcgyver than john, is the sock puppet from pets.com . (http://www.megwood.com/archive/sockpuppet.html)

Highlights of the "boyfriend profile":
"But enough about that, let's talk about John!

I don't know anything about John."

"So, next time you see John Roderick, feel free to blame him for all the smog in Seattle. Because his music makes me want to guzzle gas like a Humvee."

"And feel free to send your gas bill John's way. I'm sure he'll understand."

http://www.megwood.com/

[stephanie]

BEST POST EVER.

[mildlyrestarted]

BEST POST EVER.

duh, dude!
nobody loves me... no replies to the best POST EVER? what's that about?

[huck]

i thought it was the best post ever, too. but only because i like the free advertising.

don't be offended by the scoring, though. despite the occasional talk about a complicated mathematical formula, the numbers are actually completely arbitrary. i couldn't tell you the score of a single person/sockpuppet on the site. there's no real hierarchy at work -- that ought to be obvious the moment you see that the person they're all being judged against is a 1980's television character with one of the most incredibly awful mullets of all time. :)

love,
meg wood (aka huck)

[Moni]

i was thinking the same - i mean who wants their boyfriend to be like macgyver anyway :-7

fun site you got there, meg!

[omphale]

those hideous pastel shirts! Personally, I think John is about 8000 times hotter than MacGyver. And definitely a better dancer. Hell, even with a mullet...

[huck]

those hideous pastel shirts! (...)

and don't forget the acid-washed jeans! although i read somewhere that those might be making a comeback.

RUN FOR THE HILLS!

[omphale]

and don't forget the acid-washed jeans! although i read somewhere that those might be making a comeback.

I won't allow it!

[Unremarkable]

BEST POST EVER.

This phrase seems to be thrown around a lot...kinda defeats the purpose.

[an abstersive]

BEST POST EVER.

This phrase seems to be thrown around a lot...kinda defeats the purpose.

...but only now is it accurate.

i think to settle this controversy, john and macgyver should just have it out IN THE STREETS.

[heather]

uhm.. that's a good idea and all, but... macgyver would destroy john roderick. keep in mind that macgyver can make anything (ie bombs, shanks, hair comb) out of ANYTHING. but i'll pay to see the fight. when and where?

[John]

I can't let that challenge go unanswered. I'll take on MacGrover, or whoever, anytime, day or night. Let's see him make a whole bag of Nelson Chow out of fingernail clippings and shaving cream. I take on all comers! Do your worst, fictional eighties televison character!

[omphale]

Hmmmm...this sounds like it could be a rather unconventional version of "having it out in the streets"! I think it should be like that summer camp game where we give them both a paper bag filled with random objects and see who comes up with the most badass usage of said objects. Yeeeeeeeah!

[Goldie]

Not that you need any counsel on how to win a fight or anything, but seriously, if you're going up against MacGyver, you might want to consider bringing a pack of gum along. Then (check this): don't give him any! He'll go mental.

PS w/r/t the Nelson Chow: those weren't fingernail clippings. Although, funnily enough, it was shaving cream. Go figure.

[BladeRunner]

oh my god, I've never been so shattered in all my life. I don't know who to vote for. A TV icon of my early childhood John ....aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh! it's tearing me apart.

hmmmmm...ah.....ummmm..... ahhhhhh..

I pray for Sam Beckett to Quantum Leap into John and end this madness!

[an abstersive]

not to rain on the parade, but for everybody who wants to know when the macgyver fight will be, i have received information from his (richard dean anderson's) people that changes everything. in fact, said information leads me to believe that macgyver is mayhaps afraid of our mr. john roderick and his crushing powers of rock and roll. according to said information, richard dean anderson got captured by some evil canadians after the last season of macgyver and after losing to them in a one-on-one match of "blades of steel" (his favorite nintendo game, in case you didn't already know) he was promptly de-programmed and hence lost his ability to assemble a weapon out of anything and everything. if this is true, he stands no chance against john.

as such, i think that miss meg wood's scale of macgyver vs. boyfriend should be thrown out the window as completely useless. in its place, i propose that all future boyfriends be compared to john roderick, who will surely get a perfect score unmatched by the pitiful green deformity known as yoda or the ball of greasy manmuscle that is vin diesel.

now, on to the next orders of business. john roderick vs. h.r. pufnstuf, the snorks, gwen stefani, new order, and play-doh! place your bets and orders for commemorative t-shirts before it's too late, guys.

i should probably go to sleep.

[heather]

I pray for Sam Beckett to Quantum Leap into John and end this madness!

The fight to end all fights:

Sam Beckett/John versus MacGyver. And MacGyver can use those skillz he picked up playing around the Stargate. That's fair, isn't it? Sam/John gets to have Al, and MacGyver gets all the neat doo-dads from his Stargate adventures. But watch out.. MacGyver always seems pissy on that Stargate show, I think he's looking for a fight.

[mildlyrestarted]

not to rain on the parade, but for everybody who wants to know when the macgyver fight will be, i have received information from his (richard dean anderson's) people that changes everything. in fact, said information leads me to believe that macgyver is mayhaps afraid of our mr. john roderick and his crushing powers of rock and roll. according to said information, richard dean anderson got captured by some evil canadians after the last season of macgyver and after losing to them in a one-on-one match of "blades of steel" (his favorite nintendo game, in case you didn't already know) he was promptly de-programmed and hence lost his ability to assemble a weapon out of anything and everything. if this is true, he stands no chance against john.

as such, i think that miss meg wood's scale of macgyver vs. boyfriend should be thrown out the window as completely useless. in its place, i propose that all future boyfriends be compared to john roderick, who will surely get a perfect score unmatched by the pitiful green deformity known as yoda or the ball of greasy manmuscle that is vin diesel.

now, on to the next orders of business. john roderick vs. h.r. pufnstuf, the snorks, gwen stefani, new order, and play-doh! place your bets and orders for commemorative t-shirts before it's too late, guys.

i should probably go to sleep.

uhh. yeah, so... best REPLY EVER? all you haterz, step tha fuck off.

[wonderbex]

I pray for Sam Beckett to Quantum Leap into John and end this madness!

Sam Beckett/John versus MacGyver?
I can only imagine it would have to play out as such:

A country road. A tree.
Evening.

Sam Beckett/John: We have to come back tomorrow.
MacGyver: What for?
Beckett/John: To wait for Godot
MacGyver: Ah. (silence) He didn't come?
Beckett/John: No.
MacGyver: And now it's too late.
Beckett/John: Yes. Now it's night. And we have to be in Topeka tomorrow. It's time to load up the van. Everything's dead but the tree.
MacGyver: (looking at the tree) What is it? I could use a piece of bark to make a transistor radio and call him.
Beckett/John: It's a tree, stupid.
MacGyver: Yes, but what kind of tree?
Beckett/John: I don't know. And the moon doesn't favor girls. Giant fork and spoon.
MacGyver: I can't go on like this. And where's the babe? I always get the babe by the end of the episode. And the only guest stars so far have been that crazy guy and his manservant. What the hey, man? I can't go on like that.
Beckett/John: That's what you think.
MacGyver: If we parted? That might be better for us.
Beckett/John: We'll hang ourselves tomorrow. ... Unless Godot comes.
MacGyver: Well. Shall we go?
Beckett/John: Yes. Let us go.

They do not move.

Curtain.

[Moni]

Ohmygod - that was hilarious... now I'll never be able to listen to Shapes like I used to!!

but seriously, forget the silly fighting - I'm way too intrigued by the idea of having someone else pay my gas bill...