The Cattywampus Disciplinary: Egregious Moderator Abuse

Post by **grant** » Sun Sep 19, 2004 7:20 am

There has been a notable air of laxity hanging over this message board of late; a vile, insidious stench of lackadaisical "do-as-we-may" that is serving no one terribly well and only a few in even the slightest measure.

In a word, we have become SOFT.

Well, I will not stand for it! You babbling children need to harden yourselves to prepare for what cruelties lie outside these hallowed halls, as well as to simply consider yourselves finished as young men and young women and not shapeless lumps of unbaked dough. The laxity must stop, and it stops right here!

This is the topic in which you young neer-do-wells are given a true education by your betters! This is the prefects' corner!

Who dares think themselves ready for their first helping? Don't be shy, you limp-spined milquetoasts!

Moni · Post by **Moni** » Sun Sep 19, 2004 7:33 am

Please, sir, my vapidity runs to excess. I have no defense, and only hope I have not offended.

Betty Felon · Post by **Betty Felon** » Sun Sep 19, 2004 7:33 am

Milquetoast? You dare use a term on us that I learned from Berke Breathed's original comic strip, vastly superior to the short-lived Outland and the currently running Opus?

For penguins are what I know and understand, for they are in black and white.

Moni · Post by **Moni** » Sun Sep 19, 2004 7:35 am

Hey grant – Glücklich wenn die Tage fließen,
wechselnd zwischen Freud und Leid,
zwischen Schaffen und Genießen,
zwischen Welt und Einsamkeit!

Squid · Post by **Squid** » Sun Sep 19, 2004 10:07 am

I await my punishment with eagerness, for I realize I am soft, yes, and suffused with decay!

Betty Felon · Post by **Betty Felon** » Sun Sep 19, 2004 10:23 am

What ho! This cannot be! Sir, you wound me!

I cry! I cry! Quack, quack! Quack, quack!

Post by **Merlin** » Sun Sep 19, 2004 2:47 pm

Huzzah! Grant has a bee in his bonnet! This can only mean wonderful things.

BladeRunner · Post by **BladeRunner** » Sun Sep 19, 2004 4:31 pm

An idle buzzing do I make
as the housefly's wings do shake
and if displeasing is my mutter,
at least I don't walk through your butter!

Post by **grant** » Sun Sep 19, 2004 5:05 pm

My spleen is not yet vented!

Come for your second helpings, oh pale plebian masses!

heather · Post by **heather** » Sun Sep 19, 2004 5:07 pm

My organs have turned to blancmange; would that I had a spleen of my own, and some grasp of the necessary means to keep my humors in balance. Alas, this is not so. Anemic am I, though not quite fainting. Sir, kind sir, who knows all and does no wrong, could you shine the brilliant light of illumination upon my frailty, and thus improve myself and my station?

Post by **grant** » Sun Sep 19, 2004 5:08 pm

Betty Felon wrote:What ho! This cannot be! Sir, you wound me!

No, no, no... the proper form of address within this topic is PLEASE SIR, MAY I HAVE ANOTHER?

Post by **grant** » Sun Sep 19, 2004 5:11 pm

Merlin wrote:Huzzah! Grant has a bee in his bonnet! This can only mean wonderful things.

Please, my good man, as a gentleman of rank, you must exercise your power here!

The hot wax! The sacks of flour! The barrel of molasses! Show them their true colors!

To wit:

heather wrote:Sir, kind sir, who knows all and does no wrong, could you shine the brilliant light of illumination upon my frailty, and thus improve myself and my station?

All in good time, my simpering child. Do not weep. There, there. Are we not learning well today?

BladeRunner · Post by **BladeRunner** » Sun Sep 19, 2004 5:53 pm

My ears are stoppered, and a hollow clanking fills my head.
These noises (have they meaning?) fill my heart with dread.
As though unknown multitudes somewhere around me teem
And decide upon my fate, as though I was but their dream....

Betty Felon · Post by **Betty Felon** » Sun Sep 19, 2004 6:17 pm

What do I see? A light upon me dawns! What woeful wretchedness this is, and yet not undeserved!

BladeRunner · Post by **BladeRunner** » Sun Sep 19, 2004 6:23 pm

This yoke about my neck does chafe.
For one such as I, is nowhere safe?

Post by **Liesbeth** » Mon Sep 20, 2004 4:13 am

Cluck, cluck! My feathers and eggs! What noisome riot disturbs my laying?

Can we not cuddle in our coop rather than parade so rudely about the farm?

Post by **grant** » Mon Sep 20, 2004 6:14 am

Betty Felon wrote:What do I see? A light upon me dawns! What woeful wretchedness this is, and yet not undeserved!

Yes, yes, dear child! Soon, this will all be over and behind us.

BladeRunner wrote:This yoke about my neck does chafe.
For one such as I, is nowhere safe?

Take hold of yourself, man!
And stop that ridiculous stooping!

Liesbeth wrote:Cluck, cluck! My feathers and eggs! What noisome riot disturbs my laying?

Can we not cuddle in our coop rather than parade so rudely about the farm?

Oh, the sweetest corn is yet to come, Mother Hen. Come, walk with me to this stump... and pay no mind to those dark stains at its roots.

Betty Felon · Post by **Betty Felon** » Mon Sep 20, 2004 6:20 am

You are so well practised in thisgentle art, sir -- these stripes you give me hurt something beastly, they do.

Post by **grant** » Mon Sep 20, 2004 6:34 am

Betty Felon wrote:You are so well practised in thisgentle art, sir -- these stripes you give me hurt something beastly, they do.

My cane is not chalked, no... and ducks have no stripes!

LoveSickJerk · Post by **LoveSickJerk** » Mon Sep 20, 2004 8:05 am

My ears recieve your noises [REDACTED], but [REDACTED]I am lost [REDACTED], remiss [REDACTED].