Animals? Sometimes? Not so cute.

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grant
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Postby grant » Wed Jan 11, 2006 2:25 pm


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No You Are
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Postby No You Are » Wed Jan 11, 2006 2:36 pm

"Nice teeth, you scratch your mother's fins with those?"

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grant
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Postby grant » Thu Jan 12, 2006 7:18 am

Barbelith supplies me with this wonderful thing:

Alligator vs. Bear, from 1854 -- about three-quarters of the way down the left-hand column.

I am vindicated, despite the flukish end of the one contest mentioned.

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Squid
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Postby Squid » Thu Jan 12, 2006 1:24 pm

You're too late. John's already had his allegiances permanently etched on his body:

Image

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No You Are
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Postby No You Are » Wed Feb 22, 2006 7:00 am

OK, so we did the whole Polar Bear vs. Gator thing.... I now have a new one for your approval...

Polar Bear vs. Canadian Mom

http://espn.go.com/outdoors/general/news/2006/0221/2338668.html

Those kids will not be mouthing off anytime soon.

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John
King God, Mang
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Postby John » Wed Feb 22, 2006 9:38 am

Grant, I can´t believe you would call yourself vindicated by such a specious and unverified slander, especially in light of the documentary evidence that followed: a lowly BLACK bear, fighting UNDER WATER, still emerged victorious. As for Canadian moms, well, I´ve known a few, but the last line of that piece told the story: the bear wasn´t HUNGRY.

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Squid
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Postby Squid » Wed Feb 22, 2006 1:50 pm

In other news, a topic near and dear to No You Are's heart: Bessie the Python has been found.

She was in the ceiling! It's amazing where you can hide when you have no appendages. The possibilities are seemingly endless.

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No You Are
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Postby No You Are » Thu Feb 23, 2006 7:53 am

You really haven't lived until you've come home drunk to find a python in your pantry.

Funny, I just had to re-tell that story to some new students that work in our office. Seems like I have to go back to that dark place once a year.

Along with the story about the boss I had that faked having cancer. For serious. The woman that hired me was such a loon she faked having cancer for a year... including head shaving, fake passing out, having co-workers drop her off at the hospital (only to walk out the back and go home). It was the most surreal thing ever, and I wouldn't believe it if I didn't see it for a year (she eventually was fired when we found out - obviously).

whathedickens
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Postby whathedickens » Thu Feb 23, 2006 10:00 am

"Nominating her for a bravery medal"...? Not really the sort of action I would consider warrants awarding a bravery medal.

Faking cancer...wtf...??

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sour29
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Postby sour29 » Thu Feb 23, 2006 2:26 pm

How do you find out someone is faking cancer?

philistien
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Postby philistien » Thu Feb 23, 2006 2:49 pm

sour29 wrote:How do you find out someone is faking cancer?


maybe when they don't die? or you notice that their pills are actually tic tacs?

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Squid
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Postby Squid » Thu Feb 23, 2006 3:19 pm

philistien wrote:
sour29 wrote:How do you find out someone is faking cancer?


maybe when they don't die?


This was the "don't-even-try-and-pretend-that-you're-working" guffaw that I needed today. I thank you.

lagomorph
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Postby lagomorph » Thu Feb 23, 2006 5:32 pm

No You Are wrote:Along with the story about the boss I had that faked having cancer. For serious. The woman that hired me was such a loon she faked having cancer for a year... including head shaving, fake passing out, having co-workers drop her off at the hospital (only to walk out the back and go home). It was the most surreal thing ever, and I wouldn't believe it if I didn't see it for a year (she eventually was fired when we found out - obviously).


It's sublime when Royal fakes stomach cancer in "The Royal Tenenbaums", but in Real Life World, your former co-worker merits an eleven on the Fuckedupitude Scale.

philistien
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Postby philistien » Thu Feb 23, 2006 11:03 pm

Squid wrote:
philistien wrote:
sour29 wrote:How do you find out someone is faking cancer?


maybe when they don't die?


This was the "don't-even-try-and-pretend-that-you're-working" guffaw that I needed today. I thank you.


i try, i try.

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No You Are
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Postby No You Are » Fri Feb 24, 2006 7:31 am

philistien wrote:
sour29 wrote:How do you find out someone is faking cancer?


maybe when they don't die? or you notice that their pills are actually tic tacs?



Um, actually that is what tipped us off.

Mega-condensed version... her M.O. was to not tell us anything about her "condition", but to befriend one of the coaches here at Iowa and tell her everything. She would then pass the "information" on to us so we would know what the story is.

First she was getting worse and wouldn't make it into January. Then the docs told her she wouldn't make it through Feb... then spring break.... then the end of the semester....

The fact that she was not dying was the major tip-off. Combine with the fact that she wasn't losing weight, getting pale and stuff, and you begin to question.

However, faking cancer is so off the charts fucked up, that it never occurs as a possibility. Nobody is that crazy, right?

Anyway, eventually she told her coach "friend" that she was going to go off dialisis and just die. However, she was unable to locate her best friend (who served as her 'living will') and asked if the coach would do it. She thought, no, this is too messed up, I'm going to locate the friend. Coach calls the friend and gets the "she doesn't have cancer, she's done this before, she is crazy" info. WOW. Coach comes tells us.

Jaw = floor. Never have I been more shocked... despite the fact that we all kind of expected it anyway.

So anyway, she gets fired and her family has an intervention and is going to get her in a hospital. Apparently that never happened, because a co-worker saw her working a booth at the Final Four 2 years later.

I have left out so many facets to this story, I question why I ever brought it up in the first place.... I could have a crazy cancer boss post every week until John finishes his book and still not tell y'all everything.

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Squid
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Postby Squid » Fri Feb 24, 2006 9:51 am

No You Are wrote:I could have a crazy cancer boss post every week until John finishes his book and still not tell y'all everything.


I feel that you have been called to Share The Crazy. It is your quest.

Harvey Winters
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Postby Harvey Winters » Fri Feb 24, 2006 3:08 pm

Gardner wrote:King Kong vs. Godzilla?


With alternate ending (Not Available In US)

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Moni
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Postby Moni » Fri Mar 17, 2006 11:00 am

You gotta love mean penguins:

Image

Sorr for the tiny size, it's someone's avatar on some other forum.

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zach
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Postby zach » Sat Mar 18, 2006 5:38 pm

This one's a little clearer (though not bigger?)...

Image

(though for some reason it's a lot smaller here than it was on the site I stole it from.)

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Liesbeth
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Postby Liesbeth » Sun Mar 19, 2006 3:10 am

I missed NoYouAre's story in February, but a few years ago, there was a member of parliament in The Netherlands who said she had cancer, when she didn't. She even came to parliament in a wheelchair on crucial votes.
It turned out she was suffering from post-traumatic stress syndrom and pseudologia phantastica, she truly believed she was terminally ill.

Must be really tough to go through, period, but to have been in the limelight, and then to know that now everyone you meet knows what happened to you... I would much prefer to be the penguin being wacked into the water.


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