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Squid
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I love my workplace.

Postby Squid » Thu Nov 10, 2005 12:28 pm

Sent out this morning, company wide:

>----------
>From: XXXX
>Sent: Thursday, November 10, 2005 11:48:54 AM
>Subject: Missing: Steven Seagal!
>Auto forwarded by a Rule
>
Hi,

Sometime on Tuesday/Wednesday morning a picture was taken from my desk.
If you know of its whereabouts and would like to put it back, please do so and there will be no questions asked.

Description: 8x10 picture of Steven Seagal in his new movie

That's all that I have to go on as I never even got to see it. It was a gift that was left for me.

Thanks,
XXXX

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Squid
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Postby Squid » Thu Nov 10, 2005 1:05 pm

Sorry, the thought I forgot to add was: who knew SS was still making movies? But a quick check thru IMDB reveals no less that five films, plus 4 in post-production for 2006! Who knew?

theplacidcasual
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Postby theplacidcasual » Thu Nov 10, 2005 7:25 pm

how many albums has he made by now?

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No You Are
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Postby No You Are » Fri Nov 11, 2005 8:00 am

Let me guess the plots of those movies...

STeve is a (Cop/fireman/soldier) and a (drug dealer/terrorist/corrupt cop) (kills/kidnaps) his (wife/daughter) and he is out for (revenge/vengence/payback)

It's like Seagal-Libs...

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Karousme
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Postby Karousme » Fri Nov 11, 2005 3:51 pm

Image

theplacidcasual
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Postby theplacidcasual » Sat Nov 12, 2005 8:41 pm


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Squid
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Postby Squid » Sat Nov 12, 2005 9:13 pm

oh.my.god. that audio clip is simply tremendous.

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Forrest
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Postby Forrest » Mon Nov 14, 2005 4:49 pm


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grant
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Postby grant » Tue Nov 15, 2005 7:41 am

So, Squid, have you given it back yet?

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Squid
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Postby Squid » Tue Nov 15, 2005 1:28 pm

Ha! You'd like to think that, wouldn't you? You fell victim to one of the classic blunders. The most famous is "Never get involved in a land war in Asia." But only slightly less well known is this: "Never go in against a Squid when a Segal is on the line!"

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Squid
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Postby Squid » Thu Dec 22, 2005 4:42 pm

This one is seasonally appropriate...

From: XXXXX
Sent: Thursday, December 22, 2005 4:17:19 PM
Subject: Last chance stocking stuffers

I've still got some $50 Botox and Restylane gift certificates here.

Come by if you want one.

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Betty Felon
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Postby Betty Felon » Thu Dec 22, 2005 6:28 pm

Squid wrote:This one is seasonally appropriate...

From: XXXXX
Sent: Thursday, December 22, 2005 4:17:19 PM
Subject: Last chance stocking stuffers

I've still got some $50 Botox and Restylane gift certificates here.

Come by if you want one.


Awesome. Restylane isn't even legal in the US.

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nwheather
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Postby nwheather » Fri Dec 23, 2005 2:02 pm

The man passed within a foot of me at the L.A. premiere of The Glimmer Man years ago. He wears WAY too much cologne. (I don't mean to say it was annoying, folks--if he had lingered for a moment instead of walking straight past, I would've started choking and had to leave. And no, I'm not hyper-sensitive about these things, either.) Keenan Ivory Wayans, who also made an appearance, looked positively emaciated. That was, I think, the only Seagall movie I've ever seen, and I really don't remember a thing about it. Go figure.

That energy drink thing is appalling. I love how they talk about how healthy and natural it is, then offer a disclaimer (of sorts) at the end telling you it's full of CAFFEINE. Yeah, we had an all-natural energy drink when I was growing up, too. It was called JOLT COLA.

Oh, and Squid? You work with some real...pieces of work.

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Squid
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Postby Squid » Fri Dec 23, 2005 5:20 pm

Yes, it's an awfully strong message to be sending anyone during the holiday season, isn't it? "Merry Xmas! You look like hell!"

That Restystuff is illegal in the states? I wonder if he knows that...

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Betty Felon
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Postby Betty Felon » Tue Dec 27, 2005 7:18 am

Squid wrote:Yes, it's an awfully strong message to be sending anyone during the holiday season, isn't it? "Merry Xmas! You look like hell!"

That Restystuff is illegal in the states? I wonder if he knows that...


Ah, my bad. Restylane finally got it's FDA aproval as long as you use it only for mouth and nose wrinkles. You have to go to Rio to legally inject it in your forehead and eyes.

Not that plenty of US doctors don't inject illegal fillers all the time. These things are a huge money maker, and money can magically create a distinction between "not FDA approved" and strictly "illegal". And hey, if it's good enough for Rio...

Yes, it seems like a backhanded gift, but you only feel that way because you are sane. I know plenty of gals who wouldn't care, they would just be delighted to get a free wrinkle filler fix.

At least he wasn't offering Cymetra. It's made from puréed human skin harvested from cadavers. (And the company that makes it, Lifecell, recently got busted for buying skin from a full on BODY SNATCHING ring. but ladeda...it makes you beautiful....)

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Squid
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Postby Squid » Tue Dec 27, 2005 10:07 am

Betty Felon wrote:At least he wasn't offering Cymetra. It's made from puréed human skin harvested from cadavers. (And the company that makes it, Lifecell, recently got busted for buying skin from a full on BODY SNATCHING ring. but ladeda...it makes you beautiful....)


Awesome! Have you read this book? She covers that sort of stuff.

I dunno, I try to be philisophical about the whole thing...I eat steak, don't I? That's rotting flesh, for all intents and purposes. But people have been eating meat for millenia, and we know what the outcome is. (And that outcome is: DEE-LICIOUS!) We are not totally aware of the results of injecting ourselves with the byproducts of dead peeps.

I just don't really want to be messing with anything that could potentially have me looking like Jeff Goldblum in The Fly, is what I'm saying.

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Betty Felon
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Postby Betty Felon » Tue Dec 27, 2005 5:07 pm

Haha, I've heard of that book and now that it's endorsed by the Squid, I officially want to read it.

To be fair to Cymetra, the product is the unwasted particulate matter from LifeCell's main product, Alloderm...which is essentially highly effective skin grafts for use in extremely challenging surgery. They make Alloderm by removing the epidermis (top skin with the hairs and stuff) and any allergens or really anything that makes it skin...leaving a collagen matrix that new skin can grow into without creating scar tissue. It's actually quite brilliant.

So as not to waste donated human skin, they use any too small peices or leftovers to make Cymetra....which is useful in delicate surgery and...also, for filling wrinkles.

I'd be totally ok with it...if it weren't for the body snatching thing. You see, its the tissue banks that do the testing for disease and whatnot. When your tissue bank is the back of a truck, I get a little nervous.

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Squid
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Postby Squid » Tue Dec 27, 2005 11:58 pm

Yeah, you would really like that book. She has this cavalier yet studious manner of addressing the subject matter that is pretty refreshing.

*lowers her voice so as not to be heard in the SAH-lon dining room*

It's just occurred to me that I may know a recipient of Cymetra! I'll have to ask, I know they were on the receiving end of some fairly cutting edge treatment.

Re: Tissue Banks, amen. As I get further into And The Band Played On, it gets more and more about the role that the blood banks played. Or rather, sadly, refused to play. It's absolutely maddening to read...

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Squid
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Postby Squid » Tue Jan 10, 2006 10:08 am

Posted At: Tuesday, January 10, 2006 8:25 AM
Posted To: Bulletin Board, Bay Area
Subject: Dirty Panda

Found on the Brannan roof parking lot:
One small, black/white panda with suction cup, most likely fell off someone's car.

If this is yours, it needs a wash as it may have been run over.

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Squid
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Postby Squid » Tue Jan 10, 2006 10:15 am

Sent: Tuesday, January 10, 2006 9:51:13 AM
Subject: Dirty Panda pic
Auto forwarded by a Rule

Thanks to an accomplice, here's a pic of the dirty panda, currently in a medically induced coma, but recovering nicely from its injuries:
Please email to claim the little bugger.


Image


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