Top 10 reasons why Canada and Canadians are totally cool!
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Top 10 reasons why Canada and Canadians are totally cool!
1. They are nice to Emus
2. Jim Carrey isn’t that bad!
3. They have 12 ways to say "I’m sorry."
4. Mais oui! [That doesn’t mean that I like French, I just couldn’t think of something fitting for #4]
5. You cannot blame Christopher Plummer for The Sound Of Music
6. Colin Powell is not Canadian
7. Neither is the Queen
8. You can actually find the country on a map without having to be a genious
9. They’ve got lots of snow, their own isles, universities, beer... everything you need basically!
10. Their border police makes for entertaining tour memories
2. Jim Carrey isn’t that bad!
3. They have 12 ways to say "I’m sorry."
4. Mais oui! [That doesn’t mean that I like French, I just couldn’t think of something fitting for #4]
5. You cannot blame Christopher Plummer for The Sound Of Music
6. Colin Powell is not Canadian
7. Neither is the Queen
8. You can actually find the country on a map without having to be a genious
9. They’ve got lots of snow, their own isles, universities, beer... everything you need basically!
10. Their border police makes for entertaining tour memories
- ChadyzGroove
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- BladeRunner
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- call me stupid
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My sophomore year of college I had a professor from New Foundland. I don't know if anyone else on the board listens to the radio show "Bob & Tom", but they have a skit about a town in New Foundland, called Dildo.... well, me being the wiseass that I am, I asked my professor if there was such a town.........
THERE IS. I say that goes on the list.
THERE IS. I say that goes on the list.
call me stupid wrote:My sophomore year of college I had a professor from New Foundland. I don't know if anyone else on the board listens to the radio show "Bob & Tom", but they have a skit about a town in New Foundland, called Dildo.... well, me being the wiseass that I am, I asked my professor if there was such a town.........
THERE IS. I say that goes on the list.
It's actually Newfoundland, but your way is cool too.
Canada..what can I say, it's an experiment gone horribly right.
Canada is really the only thing that keeps Alaska from taking over the rest of the US. The Alaskan Army has tried, (little known fact), but the Canadians really nickle-and-dime you on the gasoline, so the invasion force usually grounds out around Prince Rupert. There are a lot of casualties to boredom and ennui, also.
- LngHrvWntrsDngr
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huck wrote:My favorite thing about Canada: Constable Benton Fraser, RCMP, the only Boyfriend of the Week ever to give MacGyver a real run for his money.
YES. I agree with you COMPLETELY. Does TNT still show reruns of that? I used to cry EVERY TIME he got the pemmican kicked out of him in that Christmas episode.
John wrote:Canada is really the only thing that keeps Alaska from taking over the rest of the US. The Alaskan Army has tried, (little known fact), but the Canadians really nickle-and-dime you on the gasoline, so the invasion force usually grounds out around Prince Rupert. There are a lot of casualties to boredom and ennui, also.
Canucks had an invasion plan of their own:
It's a quiet invasion, we tell you, an invasion! Bear in mind that as recently as the 1920s, Canada had an actual invasion plan ready and waiting to invade the US. Yessiree, Col. J. Sutherland Brown (nicknamed "Buster Brown" - we are not making this up!) and two other officers of the Canadian Military Operations and Intelligence actually crossed the St. Lawrence in a motorcar at Ogdensburg in 1922 to perform a recon of possible invasion routes into upstate New York. He concluded that "the country everywhere is passable by infantry." If war with the US seemed likely, Canada's Defence Scheme Number One would launch pre-emptive attacks ( would have been aimed at Albany, Minneapolis, Seattle, and other northern cities) all along the world's longest undefended border and at least provide the two-week delay necessary for reinforcements to arrive from the Mother Country and elsewhere in the Empire, a sort of Canadian Schliefenplan. This at a time when the Motherland would have sacrificed Canada in an instant for their friendship with the US. But hey, this very plan worked in 1812!
- Unremarkable
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meg wrote:
YES. I agree with you COMPLETELY. Does TNT still show reruns of that? I used to cry EVERY TIME he got the pemmican kicked out of him in that Christmas episode.
it's not on TNT anymore, but you can buy the first and second seasons on DVD at the Canadian branch of amazon.com. third season coming soon.
Re: Top 10 reasons why Canada and Canadians are totally cool
Liz wrote:5. You cannot blame Christopher Plummer for The Sound Of Music
Real Live Cattywampusing: I once picked up a copy of Harold Pinter's No Man's Land in a used bookstore. It was priced normally, at $5, and seemed to have been through several used bookstores, as there was a second, higher price penciled in one of the inner pages with a note that it was autographed by Jason Robards. Robards had recently passed, and I thought it was a steal--Jason Robards' autograph for $5, plus a play!--and when I got home I realized it was even more of a steal than I'd thought. Scrawled under Robards' autograph was a second, only slightly less interesting signature--a Mr. Christopher Plummer.
Those smart questions were posted on an Int’l Tourism website and yo they’re real.
Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK)
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.
Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.
Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only 4,000 miles, take lots of water.
Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)
A: So its true what they say about Swedes.
Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed Beaver. (Italy)
A: Let's not touch this one.
Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-da is that big country to your North . . . oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.
Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 90 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is . . . oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)
A: No, WE don't stink.
Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Canada? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
Q: Can I wear high heels in Canada? (UK)
A: You are a British politician, right?
Q: Can you tell me the regions on British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.
Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)
A: Only at Thanksgiving.
Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter gatherers. Milk is illegal.
Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Canada who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: Canadian rattle snakes are perfectly harmless, and can be safely handled and make good pets.
Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA)
A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
Q: I was in Canada in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Surrey, BC. Can you help? (USA)
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.
Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.
Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK)
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.
Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.
Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only 4,000 miles, take lots of water.
Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)
A: So its true what they say about Swedes.
Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed Beaver. (Italy)
A: Let's not touch this one.
Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-da is that big country to your North . . . oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.
Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 90 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is . . . oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)
A: No, WE don't stink.
Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Canada? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
Q: Can I wear high heels in Canada? (UK)
A: You are a British politician, right?
Q: Can you tell me the regions on British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.
Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)
A: Only at Thanksgiving.
Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter gatherers. Milk is illegal.
Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Canada who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: Canadian rattle snakes are perfectly harmless, and can be safely handled and make good pets.
Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA)
A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
Q: I was in Canada in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Surrey, BC. Can you help? (USA)
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.
Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.
- AffluentSuburbOfAtlanta
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AffluentSuburbOfAtlanta wrote:hum.. funny, i knew that one about australia. seems more realistic, too, seeing the request for the vienna boy's choir schedule... still funny... *g*
:-)
AffluentSuburbOfAtlanta
Someone else said that though what about the moose part? And the cold weather? and the (teehee) beaver? Looks rather like a mixture of q's about a few countries.