How many crushes?

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How many crushes do you normally have going?

0 -- it's hard to find someone worthy
2
6%
1 -- I'm devoted, even in fantasy
6
18%
2-4 -- Always a select few prospects
14
42%
5-8 -- a smile here, killer style there, amazing brain/voice/humor, etc. all in different people.
4
12%
9-12 -- the people around me are amazing, plus a half dozen celebrities
3
9%
13+ -- I'm a crush addict and need help.
3
9%
I like baseball/music/dostoevsky/etc only.
1
3%
 
Total votes: 33

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Betty Felon
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How many crushes?

Post by Betty Felon »

How many crushes do you normally have at any given time? Average.

This includes all degrees of crush, from "my giddy head is swimming in opiates, I'd say I'm in love if he knew my name" to "I'm bored and need something to think about".

Bonus: if you have someone, are you still allowed crushes? Do you have to feel guilty?
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grant
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Post by grant »

Imaginary girlfriends make the world go 'round.
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aj
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Post by aj »

zero, but I wouldn't say its because people aren't worthy... that sounds so snobby...

I just gave up on the whole thing a while ago. It makes me tired.
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chelsea
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Post by chelsea »

great thread/poll! i ALWAYS am crushing on someone...chelsea without a crush or two is like pizza without cheese...just not the same. so yeah, between my indie rock star crushes and real-life boy crushes...it nears 9.
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dchris
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Post by dchris »

It's hard to define, so I went only with the number of hard-core painfully dopey crushes I've got running at a time. But there's a definite crush continuum - from boys whose last names I would take to boys with pretty eyes who sit in front of me in history class or something.

And then there's celebrity crushes. I left all of that out. I mean, Ben Gibbard and Vince Vaughn are wonderfully crushable, but they don't keep me up at night.
stephanie
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all your beauty is hard to explain

Post by stephanie »

Thank you, Betty, for making my stomach resume its crushed-out fluttering. It'd been, like, five minutes. SIGH. Beside music and politics, crushes are my favourite topic in the world. As such, pardon this! It happens to've come at a good time.

I was once accused of having crushes on "EVERY BOY, EVER," which is, uh, not true. No. Not at all. Shit, I'm a bad liar.

I'm ruthless about crushes. I can and will develop a crazed, giggle-infested, earth-shattering, mix-making, poetry-writing crush on an unsuspecting boy in 0.5 seconds (or less, if he has glasses) -- this is the girl who bought a plane ticket to Las Vegas to meet a boy something like a week after the first time she ever talked to him, mind.
I just spent an (innocent!) evening with my most recent victim, who flew into town for his band's slot at my city's cursed, wretched summer music festival. Before the first time we hung out, I thought I'd already met the dreamiest boy on earth. That's one thing I actually enjoy being wrong about, because this one? He loves Howard Dean. He reads poetry. He's funny and sincere and random and sad. He bought every one of my drinks. And he sings in his sleep. This is all beside the fact that he's in a truly phenomenal band, which I have to push to the back of my mind when I'm in Total Crush Mode, lest I get seriously fucking freaked out thinking about all the times I've sung along to his records, obnoxiously and off-key over his lovely voice, in my car for the past 6 years. Eep!

Bonus question: If you have someone, you are DEFINITELY allowed crushes. Under no circumstance should you feel guilty. Crushes really do make the world go 'round, especially those of the celebrity "fake" boyfriend/girlfriend variety. (That said, Luke Wilson? If you're out there, please come whisk me away from Milwaukee! Also, Andrew Bird! Also, Alan Alda circa 1977! Also, all the people I know first- or second-hand that I'm afraid to list, lest they discover my crush!)
Then again, everyone I've been involved with for the past 2 years or so has been dating, engaged or married to someone else, so my stance on what you should feel guilty about is probably a little different than everyone else's.

Ahem.

C'mon, other peoples' crushes! I want to stop thinking about Iraq for a few more minutes!
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LoveSickJerk
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Le Sigh

Post by LoveSickJerk »

It has been too long to allow the current number of "crushes" to enter into my vocabulary as normal. So the books and music and films I love in thier stead are the only way to go. Of course, when that One does come around everything drops and the aformentioned opiate swimming head phenomenon becomes me. I walk into walls. I sing outloud everywhere and I listen to The Postal Service. Sigh. I admit it finally...I'm in total crush mode RIGHT FUCKING NOW.
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Karousme
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Post by Karousme »

I haven't had a crush in years. It's depressing.
hovering
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Post by hovering »

i rarely get crushes. but there's this one. you know, it'll totally never happen, but it's still nice to feel like you're 14 all over again.
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dchris
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Post by dchris »

Karousme wrote:I haven't had a crush in years. It's depressing.
Right now I'm in the thralls of the biggest crush I've had in years. It's even more depressing.
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Betty Felon
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Post by Betty Felon »

Betty falls in love easily. But she falls out just as quick.

I am never bored because I always have a crush or five to daydream about. One of my current crushes is entirely based on his speaking voice. I spend all day (at work! egad!) listening to it. The absurd thing is that I could easily spend the whole day talking to him, but I'd rather just listen to his voice talk to other people and enjoy that heart thrill thing.

Do you know what I'm talkinga bout? It occurs right beneath the throat? *le sigh* Sometimes I think it's a drug.
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LoveSickJerk
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Post by LoveSickJerk »

Speaking of speaking:She speaks French fluently. I had no idea it was so amazing until you hear it. *le sigh* It is a drug Betty, one of the best.

And as for feeling 14: "that's why she thinks its cooler if we just stay friends...."
the hutch
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Post by the hutch »

All I can say, is after 10 years of being in a coma, as it were, it's damned satisfying and reassuring to know someone of my advanced years can still get crushes, and lots of 'em. And that most of 'em are more or less mutual, but that's not surprising, 'cuz crushes that have no response fade rapidly. I'm sure it's some sort of ego gratification thing. I'm not real big on narcissistic injury, or unrequited love. But crushes are fun!

I feel like we've veered into teen zine territory, but its' cool
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cowboy frankenstein
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Post by cowboy frankenstein »

ahhhh, yes.....voice crushes.
i remember having the most ridiculous crush on dr. drew. i would sit in my car and listen every night at 10pm just so i could sigh over the way he would say "that smell means that there's an infection.."
so sad.
miriyummy
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Re: all your beauty is hard to explain

Post by miriyummy »

constantly crushing....arghhh. especially in spring. i still get all flustered. recently, i fell out of my car because i saw a crush-boy in the parking lot. oh my.
stephanie wrote:Also, Alan Alda circa 1977!
he was my first crush....circa 1977. well, maybe '78.
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Betty Felon
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Re: all your beauty is hard to explain

Post by Betty Felon »

stephanie wrote: I can and will develop a crazed, giggle-infested, earth-shattering, mix-making, poetry-writing crush on an unsuspecting boy in 0.5 seconds (or less, if he has glasses)
glasses, ah yes. The sweet, nerdly ones are irresistable. What is it about them? I mean, jesus, they fucking knock me over. I think I've figured it out....they are the male equivalent of the Sexy Librarian. Under that quiet, reserved exterior is a smart, focused, passion. The goofiness is playfullness. The sheepishness is tenderness. The willingness to be an outright geekazoid is honesty... and possibly even self-knowledge. They are so utterly lovable. And they can hold a conversation.

Of course, my nerd crushes never live up to this laundry list of outstanding character in real life. But that's what the crush world is for....a rich inner life until I meet that perfect combination of rockstar, scholar, and boyscout and we go off to blissed out happily ever after.

Are they really so young and silly, these crushes? Is it immature to be a hardcore romantic? Is there even a difference between puppy love and grown up smitten-ness? I don't think there is....I think we just fall for fewer tricks.
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Unremarkable
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Post by Unremarkable »

Wow, I guess it's a shame I have 20/20 vision then. Maybe I need to stare some more at the sun.
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iheartbarsuk
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Post by iheartbarsuk »

Same real-life boy for two years, and then something horrible happened, and I'm at no real-life crushes.
There's the indie rocker crushes: T Mo and Walla. But that's just always.
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grant
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Re: all your beauty is hard to explain

Post by grant »

Betty Felon wrote: glasses, ah yes. The sweet, nerdly ones are irresistable. What is it about them? I mean, jesus, they fucking knock me over. I think I've figured it out....they are the male equivalent of the Sexy Librarian. Under that quiet, reserved exterior is a smart, focused, passion. The goofiness is playfullness. The sheepishness is tenderness. The willingness to be an outright geekazoid is honesty... and possibly even self-knowledge. They are so utterly lovable. And they can hold a conversation.

Actually, it's that moment when he removes the glasses, lets his hair down and shakes his head slowly so that it spills across his neck and over his shoulders. Preferably in slow motion.
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Betty Felon
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Post by Betty Felon »

(oops, grant posted while I was typing....This post is directed to iheartbarsuk)

you don't have a crush on your real-life boy of two years? I always have the BIGGEST crushes on my boyfriends. Even after I've known them for months or years...

I remember, I would get randomly overtaken with that shy thrill every once in awhile. You look over and he's reading super intensly, or grinning at you, or whatever, and I my face would turn beet red. If he's playing the guitar, I practically faint.
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